The "L" Word

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love
Who invented the word love?
Ancient Greeks identified four forms of love: kinship or familiarity (in Greek, storge), friendship and/or platonic desire (philia), sexual and/or romantic desire (eros), and self-emptying or divine love (agape).

https://www.vix.com/en/relationships/528201/dont-say-i-love-you-unless-you-can-honestly-answer-these-5-questions

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/2018/06/the-five-love-languages-defined/
5 Love Languages
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The
flies were going to carry it out for you.”

2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening.

5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love.

Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more
deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking
it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.
Gary Chapman, an author, pastor and speaker, introduced the concept of love languages in his 1992 bestseller, The 5 Love Languages. He suggested that people prefer to receive love in one of five ways: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch or receiving gifts.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/most-common-love-language_n_5b4f906be4b0b15aba8b1d2c
According to Chapman, words of affirmation are the most common primary love language by a small margin. That’s based on the responses of 10,000 people who took the online quiz on his website in December 2010. Here’s the breakdown:

Words of affirmation: 23 percent
Quality time: 20 percent
Acts of service: 20 percent
Physical touch: 19 percent
Receiving gifts: 18 percent
A WEEKLY GUIDE T

gotta keep the love tank full
the average in love experince is only 2 years
Our Need of Love by Another Person not The "In Love" process
It is the act of being Loved volunteeraly by another. Real Love
Happens after the In Love experience.
Real Love Requires Discipline and Effort.
When Love tank is full the spouse can be the best self in the world.

Words of Affermation
Verbal Compliments
Encouraging Words. For things they are interested Not your Interests.
Love Makes Request Not An Demand

Dialects (Words Of Affermation)

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/say-love-really-mean-lbkr/
Rule #1 Don’t say it post-sex. People often say things they don’t mean right after doing the deed, so the bedroom is not the place to divulge those three little words for the first time. Wait for another moment – like taking the dog(s) for a walk, or perhaps when you’re sharing a meal together.

Rule #2 Don’t say it when tipsy, medicated or otherwise intoxicated. You may not remember it if you’re drunk —and it’s hardly romantic. Make sure you’re sober when you do proclaim your love to her or him.

Rule #3 Don’t attempt a grand gesture. Keeping it simple lets her or him know you’re 100-percent serious about her or him, evoking a certain straightforward, no-BS tact that people crave. Make sure your setting is intimate.

Rule #4 Don’t overthink it. The statement is best said when it comes from the heart, not your head.The fact that you mean it and are ready to say will matter the most.

https://susieandotto.com/love-advice/
In neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), people are described to take in information and learn in three different ways…

1. Auditory
2. Visual
3. Kinesthetic

Although we each take in information in all of these ways, most of us have one dominant way.
There are many different reasons why someone may not want someone telling them “I Love You” all the time and here are a couple…

If someone doesn’t want to overuse the “I Love You” phrase, it could be that they have witnessed other people in their life saying they love someone and then seeing them doing or saying things that weren’t acts of kindness
or love.

It could also be that they witnessed people saying “I love you” in a way that seemed insincere or trite. They may have done this in the past or saw it done and they don’t want to repeat it.
1. Listen, truly listen, to how your partner wants to be loved. If he/she doesn’t want to talk about the topic, pay attention to how the person shows love for you. Understand why your partner has that view.

Kelly’s (one of our coaching clients) husband loved her by “doing” things around the house for her and by fixing things. He also sent her cards and flowers but saying “I love you” to her wasn’t tops on his list. Kelly began opening more to him in ways that showed him she loved him. She began giving him her full attention when he talked with her and by doing that they became closer. And yes, she did feel more loved even though he didn’t say it much more often than he had before.

2. Make sure that actions are in alignment with words. So often people say “I love you” and then in the next moment, do or say something that indicates something far different from love. They may not even realize that they are doing it.

Some people grew up in a family that made cutting, sarcastic remarks and it’s become a habit for them to do it also. They don’t even know that they are doing it–but the other person always does. If a person has witnessed or experienced “I love you” being followed by mean-spirited words or actions, they of course will be wary of using the term.

So make sure that loving actions follow this phrase of endearment.

3. If your partner is wary of using this phrase (for whatever reason), what are some other ways that you enjoy being loved? Do you like foot rubs, someone to help with household chores or the kids, or maybe an evening a week or a month of pampering?

Tell your partner other ways that you’d like to be loved because saying “I love you”–while it can be special–is not the only way to express love.